May 2007 Archives

Finally the day has arrived. Wilmer Valderrama and Kevin Federline may collaborate on a rap album. According to a source, the two sealed a "late-night party pact" at a Las Vegas club over the weekend. From the New York Daily News:

The new BFFs "chilled out together and insisted on rapping along to every song played," laughs a witness. "K-Fed invited Wilmer to be involved with his next album." Britney's baby-daddy even had a nifty new trick to foil the paparazzi at Heineken's Thirst Studio Global Sessions. "He had a little flashlight he would shine in cameras so they couldn't get any shots." (Source)

The pairing of these two might almost be as hilarious as Vanilla Ice and Gerardo (of "Rico Suave" fame) getting together. I can see the album title now: Coconut and Wigger. With such classic hits as: "My baby's momma is my sugar momma" and "I ruined Lindsay Lohan for the rest of you." Platinum hit ... guaranteed.

Britney Spears got so drunk on Sunday night she had to be carried out of the men's restroom at the Mondrian Hotel. And what was she doing in the men's restroom at the Mondrian Hotel? Vomiting uncontrollably of course! After exiting the bathroom covered in puke, Britney was overheard telling staff: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Things aren’t going well for me at the moment.” A witness adds:

“Britney was found slumped over the toilet bowl with make-up smeared over her face and her wig hanging off ... She looked a real mess and was sitting on the floor with her head over the bowl throwing up. There was vomit down the front of her black dress and around her mouth. Britney was on her knees and must have been sick four or five times." (Source)

Is anybody else as turned on as I am right now? The vomit, the smeared makeup, the loose wig ... are we sure this story wasn't pulled straight from the pages of Penthouse Forum?

Nicole Richie was involved in a minor fender bender after leaving a Memorial Day party Monday night (where I'm sure no drinking went on so don't think for a second that alcohol played any role whatsoever in this accident). As the pictures show, the lady wasn't mad at Richie and the two hugged it out. Of course, I couldn't give a crap about that. What I want to know is how the hell does Nicole Richie even have a driver's license? Recall that minor incident a few months back when she was charged with DUI after DRIVING THE WRONG WAY ON THE F'ING FREEWAY! What more does this bitch have to do to get her license suspended? Drive around with a tapped keg in the passenger seat? Run a busload of disabled children off a cliff? She has to be blowing some judge in L.A., right?

Pam Anderson had to tell her children about her infamous sex tape before they found out about it via Borat. In an interview with UK tabloid The Sun, Pam reveals what she told her children:

"You know, when your dad and I were first together we used to video tape everything. Everybody's naked, hugging, kissing, all that good stuff and someone stole the tape. And I remember when we were watching the film and (her son) Dylan goes: 'You mean everybody has seen this?' And I said, 'Yes.'" (Source)

Sadly, I've been waiting a LONG TIME for this day to come. The day when Pamela finally had to have "the talk" with her kids. I imagine it went something like this: Pamela: "Kids, a long time ago, Mommy was a whore." Kids: "You mean like last week when the Detroit Pistons ran that train on you?" Pamela: "No, before you were born. When you were just a gleam (and caked seamen) in my eye. Now go fetch mommy that rubber fist from the movie ... she's got some plumbing to do."

German model, singer, and actress Eva Padberg

More Eva Padberg pictures after the jump...

According to In Touch Weekly, Lindsay Lohan is set to check into the Promises rehab center in Malibu early this week (the same place Britney Spears spent a month earlier this year). According to a close friend of Lindsay's:

“She finally realizes it’s the right thing to do. She is going willingly.” This will be Lindsay’s second spell in rehab this year. She completed a 30-day course in the Wonderland rehab facility in Los Angeles on February 16. (Source)

Considering these pictures were taken of Lohan a few days AFTER her DUI (at the 944 Magazine party held at club Teddys; note the cut on her hand from the accident), I think she may need something stronger than rehab. Like a lobotomy. Or maybe a sponge bath where the sexual tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife. Those always work!

UPDATE (11:30 a.m. PST): Lindsay's back in. Her lawyer, Blair Berk, drove her to the Promises facility this morning to begin a "serious medical treatment program." [Insert joke about happy hour not starting for another 6 hours here]. (Source)

UPDATE (4:20 p.m. PST): Lindsay's rep issued a statement:

"Lindsay admitted herself to an intensive medical rehabilitation facility on Memorial Day. Because this is a medical matter, it is our hope that the press will appreciate the seriousness of the situation and respect the privacy of Lindsay as well as the other patients receiving treatment at the facility."

I'm talking about the latest message Britney Spears posted on her website. I cut and pasted the entire thing into Microsoft Word and it came back with zero spelling errors. That's right, zero. The message in its entirety:

Dear Fans,

I just wanted to reach out to all of you and explain some of the things that I have been faced with recently.

It's so funny how many stories are put out there about people. It's like we all want our side of the story out there as well, but at the end of the day only a few people care to hear what is really going on since the bad is always so much more interesting than the truth. I don't know why, but this is so weird to me. I used to be angry at the tabloids for printing horrible things about me, but now I try to just be numb to what I see. I saw Tyra Banks once get really upset and cry on her show because they made her look fat. We all want a certain image of ourselves out there, and at some point we all do really care what other people think or we wouldn't be here.

Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. I truly hit rock bottom. Till this day I don't think that it was alcohol or depression. I was like a bad kid running around with ADD. I had a manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce. I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a little shock too. I didn't know who to go to. I realized how much energy and love I had put into my past relationship when it was gone because I genuinely did not know what to do with myself, and it made me so sad. I confess, I was so lost.

This letter is to not place blame on anyone, although I do see the world with a completely different set of eyes now. Being in that vulnerable state and taken to dinners and parties with friends and finding out later you paid for everything was a huge learning lesson for me. I think the whole problem was letting too many people into my life. You never know another persons intentions or what another person wants. I feel I was too open and looking for answers when I had it all to begin with. I have had to cut so many people out of my life. It is so sad, because if anyone is a family person...it is me. When I was little I remember every night watching movies with my family and feeling so at peace. Dancing and singing all the time just like a little girl should. Now recently I find with my children that I want them to have that feeling all of the time. I am having to face a lot of things right now since I have children of my own. A lot of insecurities from when I was little are coming up again. It is like we are never good enough.

I know everyone thinks that I am playing the victim, but I am not and I hate what is going on right now so much. Maybe this is the reason for this letter...to maybe allow people to look at me differently. It is like when you are a real woman and say what you feel and how you think things are supposed to be, that people just say you are a "bitch."

I feel like some of the people in my life made more of some issues than was necessary. I also feel like they knew I was beginning to use my brain for a change and cut some ties, so they wanted to be in more control of my life than me. I think it is actually normal for a young girl to go out after a huge divorce. I think it was a bigger issue because I had not gone out in such a long time. I am 25 and I do still have a lot to learn, and I am going to make mistakes everyday, and I am sure every mistake I make will probably be on CNN or Good Morning America. I am only human people and I love you for still loving me.

I am sitting here at home and it is 6:25 and both of my sons are asleep. I am truly blessed to have them in my life. Everyday is so surreal. Life in general is so surreal and crazy.

I just hope this letter made some of you think a little bit more of me and where I am coming from. I just want the same things in life that you want...and that is to be happy. It is just so weird because everyone has their own perception of me and how they think I really am. It is so weird how stories are told. There is your side, my side, and the truth. Somebody has to figure it out. I guess we will never really understand or figure out life completely. That's God's job. I can't wait to meet him...or her.

Love, Britney

Quote of the month...

It is ok to disagree with people regarding certain issues. You’re not being true to yourself if you succumb to others opinions because you feel guilty. (Source)

Wow, congratulations for making it this far down the page. I thought for sure your head would explode after the seventh correctly spelled word in a row. As for Britney's usage of the word "succumb," I have exactly one more college degree than she does and even I would never use that in a sentence.

At least Britney's ghostwriter didn't have the balls to quote Michelangelo

Handlers for both Jessica Biel and Cameron Diaz are going out of their way to make sure the two actresses don't run into each other at the MTV Movie Awards this Sunday. Earlier this year at a Golden Globes afterparty Diaz "screamed" at Biel after she saw the actress flirting with ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake. A source told the New York Post that JT is making the situation harder since he won't reveal who he's walking down the red carpet with:

"It's becoming a big deal because the girls both want very separate arrival times. Nobody knows who Cameron is going to bring, if anyone. But if Jessica walks with Justin, Cameron will want to bring a date. If Jessica goes alone, Cam will probably walk alone. It's a mess."

The biggest stars are usually the last to walk the carpet - a position both glam gals are fighting to snag. Diaz, who is accustomed to being at the top of the A-list, wants to avoid the "humiliation" of having an earlier arrival time than Biel at the MTV event.

"Cam is used to being more high-profile than Jessica," said the source. "But now that Jessica's dating Justin, she has more leverage. Cameron's looking a little unstable lately." (Source)

How stupid is Cameron Diaz? Has she never seen a picture of Jessica Biel in a bikini? She's yoked. Buff. Ripped. However you want to put it. If she was a Playboy Playmate her likes would include flexing, protein powder, and outlifting you. In other words she would slaughter Cameron Diaz. It'd be worse than the time that team of Navy Seals took down the fort I built out of blankets and couch cushions.

Christina Aguilera and husband Jordan Bratman in Hollywood on Sunday

More Christina Aguilera pictures after the jump...

aggie Gyllenhaal got a little pissy with the paparazzi yesterday while taking a stroll around the West Village in New York. Of course you'd probably be in a bad mood, too, if you were allergic to the sun. A few years back Maggie was banned from National Parks because the glare from her legs kept starting forest fires. Seriously, you can't make this up folks.