Bear with me. I know I linked to this story earlier this morning but it's simply too good to not write a little about it. According to the National Enquirer Britney Spears and Ryan Phillippe hooked up at a club last week. A source told the gossip rag about Britney and Ryan's encounter at Hollywood hot spot Les Deux:

... shortly after Ryan stopped by Brit's table, "Britney had her arms around him." The former Mrs. Kevin Federline is said to have then followed Reese Witherspoon's estranged husband to the men's room. Her worried bodyguards are said to have later "busted in the door and found Britney and Ryan groping and kissing." Their mouthpieces insist they never even spoke at the club. (Source)

This story has got to be a fake. Even I wouldn't hook up with Britney at this point and I'm almost out of hand lotion (and my heart belongs to another lady*). Besides, what would Ryan Phillipe want with a washed up, peroxide blonde, loud mouthed mother of two? ... isn't he divorcing one?

*A pocket vagina I named Elizabeth