A "walking and talking" Suri Cruise had a very normal first birthday last Wednesday at the Cruise family compound in Beverly Hills. According to a source close to the family, partygoers (including Katie's mother and grandmothers; and Tom's sister and grandmother) dined on pizza and cupcakes from a local bakery: "By the end of the party Tom, Katie and Suri were wearing chocolate." People magazine adds:
Dragonfly and butterfly piñatas were also part of the entertainment. Suri received a gym set for the backyard along with a stack of books, balls and dolls. (Source)
What the hell? Those are the kinds of presents normal babies get, not the spawn of Tom Cruise. And what's with the piñatas? Where's the traditional sacrifice of a nonbeliever followed by fruit punch? Can you even really call it a Scientology birthday party without the sacrifice of a nonbeliever followed by fruit punch? I say no.
Pity the kids a fugly. At least some one in that family has some balls now.
Well...the dragonfly and butterfly pinatas were full of Xenu and L Ron Hubbard shaped candies ... and a whole bunch of gay men pretended to be in love with their wives ... but other than that it was normal.
Uh oh, Suri surely inherited her mother's eyes as they are looking like they are 6 inches apart from each other! Katie must need a road map to put her eye make-up on. Poor Suri, she doesn't stand a chance with a crazy bitch of a father and mother with eyes 3 feet a part and a sucked out brain. Escape while you can Suri! I hear Angie, Modonna and even Tranny Pammy are adopting!
Postpartum, postpartum, postpartum.
I don't really have anything to add here, I just like saying postpartum.
I guess that's what those Scientology "mommy lessons" taught Katie: hold their kid's birthdays like they were Earthlings so as not to arouse suspicion.
http://www.damnimcute.com/the-juicy/katie-holmes/katie-holmes-ordered-to-take-mommy-classes/