It's easy to see why Lindsay Lohan has a drinking problem. Because her mom, well, is a drunk. According to witnesses, 44-year-old Dina Lohan "partied like a teenager" last weekend in South Beach. A source revealed to the New York Post:

On Friday, [Dina] and friends drank poolside at the Shore Club before moving on to Grass, where she ordered bottle service for her table and stayed for hours. The next night, she and a group of 20-somethings hit Suite, where they downed vodka and cranberry drinks and champagne - racking up a $750 bill, which the club graciously comped. Dina left the waitress a mere $100 tip, we hear. (Source)

Dina, however, disputes the tale: "We weren't drinking at all . . . We were there to see a DJ named Justin and possibly sign him."

Sign him to what exactly? I must have missed something when I blacked out all of last Sunday (my Uncle Jack [Daniels] was in town). When did Lindsay Lohan's mom get into the business of signing DJs? I thought leaching off her daughter filled most of her schedule. And one more thing, why were my pants on backwards when I woke up Monday morning? I demand answers!