Like me, you probably missed Paula Abdul's Monday appearance on The Late Show With David Letterman (sexily posted above). Fear not faithful readers, you didn't miss much--except when Paula made fun of nemesis Simon Cowell's penis:
Letterman asked Abdul, "You honestly hate Simon, don't you? He's smug and he's arrogant. And he thinks you want to have sexual activities with him,"Abdul responded, "You are right about that. But that will never happen - because his nickname is 'Small Ben.'" (Source)
y nickname used to be 'Small Ben' ... when I was seven! But then puberty took over and I've been splittin' pelvises ever since. Incidentally, that last sentence was taken word for word off one of my campaign flyers from back in '98 when I ran for mayor of Sexyville. Population: me.
Her body is a vessel alright, a vessel for storing American Idol contestants sperm.
Well then she's the biggest pr*ck tease on the West Coast because I am sick to death of her canoodling and holding hands with Simon but then spitting acid at him during the judging close-ups. They're HOW OLD? Sanjaya, hide your eyes!
"I've been splittin' pelvises"...genius.