Rather than quote bits and pieces of this story from the New York Daily News, I'm posting the entire thing. I've seen my fair shair of writers pander to a celebrity but this takes it to another level:

Naomi Campbell will face a community-service punishment nearly as humbling as that of Boy George - but what an incredible waste. The supermodel will have to push a broom inside a city facility for five days - Boy George had to do it on the streets of Chinatown - as punishment for bonking maid Ana Scolavino in the head with a cell phone.

Sorry I had to interrupt but when did "bonking" become a euhpemism for "assault?" I must have missed that day of class. Back to the story:

But couldn't Judge Robert Mandelbaum have Campbell talk to girls in city schools? It'd be good for her, too. The beauty's rep told us: "Naomi is ready to report and complete her community service, no matter where or what she will be assigned." (Source)

I'm not gonna say much about this except it's gotta be a blow to a janitor's self-confidence reading that Naomi's sentence for assault is doing your job for five days. The day a judge sentences a criminal to five days of mocking Paris Hilton is the day I abandon this site and go back to my old job at the coal mine. Benefits include mediocre pay and, in 30 years, lung cancer!

More of Naomi not throwing cell phones at the NAACP awards after the jump...