It looks like staring at her tits all day long isn't the only perk to having a big-breasted daughter. For example, sometimes she buys you really expensive things. From the New York Daily News:
It's not even the third Sunday in June, but Jessica Simpson plonked down $300,000 for a black Ferrari to thank manager-dad Joe for producing her new flick, "Blonde Ambition." "Joe has wanted this Ferrari for a long time, but he wouldn't consider getting one since they are so expensive," a family insider tells In Touch Weekly. (Source)
Ah yes, a Ferrari, an obvious choice for today's modern on-the-go pervert. Second only to the classic 1977 Chevy Conversion Van. Remember kiddies, no windows means it's extra safe. Wow, I should really write that last line down. I keep a notebook full of PSAs I've written over the years in the remote chance of someday breaking into the industry. Here's a few of my recent ones targetted to the younger crowd. Let me know what you think:
- Daddy's loaded handgun: Dangerous or Dangerously Fun?
- Go ahead and play with that matchbook, Billy, what's the worst that could happen?
- Free candy from a stranger? Fuck yeah!
- Bleach: how do you really know it doesn't taste like soda?
Mark my word, Poppa Joe will render the right side door handle inoperative so his passengers won't be able to escape. (By passengers I mean underage girls.)
PSAs - Purely Satirical Articles?
I like the last one. Or how about this one: "Two in the pink, and a fist in the stink!"
How long before Jessica dumps Joe as her manager/stalker? When it happens her first single is gonna be about a father splooging in his little girls. No comdons, biatches.