Jessica Simpson is still acting like a complete retard, this time to the delight of foreign wait staff. The Employee of the Month star was dining with John Mayer at famed Rome restaurant Dal Bolognese when she, well, acted just like Jessica Simpson. Mike Walker of the National Enquirer has the rest.
Daddy's Little Girl asked the waiter tossing a salad at their table:"Do you have Italian dressing?" The waiter roared with laughter and Jessica turned marinara-red as the guy replied: "My dear, all of our dressings are Italian!" (Source)
Wait a sec, how could the waiter roar with laughter if his mouth was full tossing another man's salad? According to my huge gay porn collection that takes up the entire downstairs bedroom one of my friends, that's pretty hard to do.*
*You need to brush up on your gay euphemisms if you didn't understand those last two sentences (HINT: click here)
BONUS NOTE: I didn't think John Mayer could get any cooler but then he had to go and start rocking the 70s pornstache. Well played John, well played.
I didn't know Jessica spoke Italian?
BONER NOTE: John Mayer looks like Johnny Depp in the above pic.
Johnny Depp indeed
Very funny!
#1: Are you kidding? I heard she can hear five languages simultaneously!
My, that Mike Walker guy sure is everywhere. Anyway, I think John Mayer looks more like Orlando Bloom in that picture though I have no intention of brushing up on gay euphemisms.
TheExpatriot, are you the ex-patriot because they failed to make it to the Super Bowl this year or are you just from a bygone era?
John Mayer looks like Marc Anthony...but with a little more flesh...
she may have dyed her hair, but she is still as dumb as shit, it's funny but I really don't think the John Mayer thing is believable or actually care for that matter.
Actually, look again. They're wearing the same face mask!
Guess unlike the cockhead who wrote this trash, we all don't look up our foods on the internet before ordering them in a restaurant while traveling. Maybe if you spent less time writing lame BS about people who are more successful than you and more time trying to figure out why you hate yourself so much, you wouldn't be thinking about suicide so often.
PS: She is still retarded for the record.
Ben, you sound like my father...are you as good of a kisser?
Something crawl up your ass Ben? Judging from your comment, there's a 99% chance it's still there.
Aaww! How cute! Celebslam has it's first troll. Congrats Ben.
Oh yeah, and Ben. When one is in Rome (you know, in fucking Italy) eating at an Italian restaurant; it's safe to assume that the dressing being served is of Italian origin. Breaking out Wikipedia or Google shouldn't be required. At least not by someone capable of feeding themselves. Now if you'll excuse me, i hate myself too and am going to go kill myself on a hooker and blow binge. Right after i look up the meaning of hooker.
Leave Jessica alone, she's not as dumb as she looks or sounds. Although, I was able to trick her into sucking my dick when I told her it was an inverted meat-flute, and if you play it magic fairy dust sprinkles out. She realized it wasn't magic or dust after the third pop shot.
What the hell happen to Celebslam? I don't logon for a couple of hours and the place goes to shit.
No, actually the new layout looks keen :) and the avatars are a nice touch.
Nick you did good!
Nice Layout!
Nick, why can't I see my damn Gravatar?
I got this message say I had successfully added one:
"Gravatar creation complete!
You've successfully added a gravatar to your account. You can now associate this gravatar with any of your email addresses."
I am not pleased!!!
I don't know, maybe it takes time?
Come on people - is it me or do Jessass and John look alike! My GOD - they are sharing the same eyes!
Nick - luv the site update.
Puppies and butterflies!