March 2007 Archives

Arielle Kebbel at the 2007 Mercedes Benz Fall Fashion Week

ore of Arielle after the jump...

In an interview published in Sunday's Parade Magazine Halle Berry admitted that she tried to commit suicide after her marriage to Atlanta Braves' star David Justice ended in 1996. According to Halle:

"I was sitting in my car, and I knew the gas was coming when I had an image of my mother finding me. She sacrificed so much for her children, and to end my life would be an incredibly selfish thing to do ... It was all about a relationship. My sense of worth was so low," she said. "I had to reprogram myself to see the good in me. Because someone didn't love me didn't mean I was unlovable. I promised myself I would never be a coward again." (Source)

Damn, Halle Berry tried to f'ing kill herself. This may throw a bit of a wrench into my bedtime fantasies about her. Normally Halle plays the role of the "busty motorist stranded on the side of the highway willing to do anything to get a ride to the next town" not the "emotionally unstable divorcee who views suicide as a rational option to ending her troubles." Oh well, I'll just use my old standy Jessica Alba fantasy tonight. In it, Jessica plays the role of the "busty motorist stranded on the side of the highway willing to do anything to get a ride to the next town." Yeah, I know, I'm not very creative. But sometimes it's hard to think with all the blood rushing from my head to other sexier parts of my body.

What I could barely ascertain from this article from The Sun is that Kirsten Dunst met this British dude a few weeks ago and now she's staying at his place and doing touristy stuff like sightseeing. Don't even attempt the second paragraph, it's pretty much unintelligible:

JOHNNY BORRELL has introduced new American girlfriend KIRSTEN DUNST to one of the great institutions this side of the pond - British bangers. As I told you yesterday, the Spider-Man star is making herself at home in Johnny’s London flat after meeting the RAZORLIGHT frontman only a few short weeks ago. My snapper - the picture is in today's Sun newspaper - caught them as they stepped out for a spot of sightseeing in the capital yesterday. Lunch was bangers and mash in a boozer.

KIRSTEN joins MADONNA and GWYNETH PALTROW in the Honorary Brits Club. Madge could be a local girl as she sups Timothy Taylor ale with hubby GUY RITCHIE. Gwyn adores exploring London parks with CHRIS MARTIN. But I don’t think either of them have tasted a snorker. (Source)

I swear to God they talk in some sort of freaking code over there. Snorker? Sups? Snapper? Boozer? Bangers? My head is about to explode. Thankfully, hating Kirsten Dunst is an international language--it knows no borders. Like my Uncle Rich. He forges passports.

Christina Aguilera leaving the Mercer Hotel in New York City over the weekend and Sir Edmund Hillary, the first/sexiest man to reach the summit of Mt. Everest

Josh Hartnett is probably banging Penelope Cruz. The two were spotted at the Little Door restaurant in Los Angeles acting like a couple of high-schoolers. A source told the New York Daily News:

"They were touchy-feely all night, holding hands and kissing." (Source)

Just because Josh and Penelope were all "touchy-feely" doesn't mean they're a couple. My fourth grade teacher used to get all "touchy-feely" with me and I definitely didn't consider her to be my girlfriend. And the jury didn't either, using terms like "predator" and "child-rapist." I swear, juries can be so dramatic sometimes!

Elton John attended the annual gay S&M themed "Black Party" at the Roseland Ballroom in New York City last weekend to celebrate his 60th birthday. According to a source at the party, there was little fanfair surrounding Elton's visit since everyone was either "messed up on drugs" or too drunk to notice the famous singer. From the New York Daily News:

[Elton] was spotted around 3 a.m. holding court in a small back room with a new pal, described as "a very tall and muscular African-American man wearing black leather." (Source)

I defy you to think of a gayer possible scene than a 60-year-old Elton John on a couch making out with a huge leather-clad black dude--and no using Tom Cruise or John Travolta in your answer, that's not fair. That's like bringing a cruise missile to a knife fight.

The female stars of Grindhouse were left a little shocked last week after Rose McGowan [via her rep] told them that wearing red to the premiere should be avoided so as not to upstage Rose's dress. A source told the New York Post:

"It caused quite a stir. The feeling is she's self-obsessed."

While Rosario Dawson, Jordan Ladd and Sydney Tamiia Poitier all wore non-red dresses (pics below), two minor cast members, twins Elise and Electra Avellan, weren't so accommodating.

"It was basically a '[Bleep] you!' to Rose," the source revealed to the paper. (Source)

And this whole time you thought Hollywood was full of sane people. No, silly, it's full of women like Rose McGowan who claim colors faster than an L.A. gangbanger. You thought the color thing was bad, you should have seen her at the afterparty pouring champagne on the ground for all her "homies back in the 213." Show some class woman!

SNBC host Keith Olbermann has a thing for porn stars (who doesn't?!?)--but not all porn stars have a thing for Keith Olbermann. Take, for example, Mary Carey. You may remember Mary from her starring role in Boobsville Sorority Girls ("A cinematic tour de force" — me) and as that chick with the ginormous rack who ran for governor of California back in '03. She was on Olbermann's TV show in 2003 as well. Carey revealed on the Free-FM's "Radio Chick" show:

...the MSNBC blabbermouth once called her and left a "rambling message" in which he asked her out. But Carey says she turned him down "because I had a boyfriend at the time."

Of course Keith's rep denies everything, insisting it was Mary who called Keith (EDITOR'S NOTE: How'd she get his phone number? ... KEITHOLBERMANNGOTBUSTED):

"It's a well-documented fact that Keith is off the market." (Source)

So basically it's his word against hers. The evil host of a major cable news show who I'm pretty sure hates freedom versus a softspoken porn star just trying to get by in this crazy place we call America. Hmmmm ... tough choice. Actually, not really. I could never go against my beloved porn. In other words, Keith Olbermann is a damn lying whore.

BONUS: I love the part about Mary turning down Olbermann because she had a boyfriend at the time. She's a porn star. She goes through boyfriends like Rosie O'Donnell goes through chicken wings and I go through t-shirts. Will some designer please step up and make a shirt that doesn't tear every time you flex your eye-candy for the ladies. It's starting to get annoying.

Alana Curry at the release party for The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning

More of Alana after the jump...

Lindsay Lohan finally talked to her newly-freed convict dad, Michael Lohan, but the phone call didn't go quite as he had hoped. Lindsay lambasted her father for "not changing" and warned him to stay away from her mother, Dina, "It wasn't the phone call Michael wanted," a source admitted. Right after the conversation ended, Lindsay called her mother and warned her to be careful and to "take care of her brother and sister." The phone call was the first contact Michael has had with Lindsay since becoming a free man:

The former stockbroker was released March 13 from the upstate Collins Correctional Facility, where he spent about 20 months behind bars for drunk driving. (Source)

What the hell did this guy do to get 20 months for drunk driving? Rear end the judge's daughter? Or maybe he rear-ended the judge's daughter (EDITOR'S NOTE: *wink wink*). Why do the most vindictive judges always have the sexiest daughters? Chalk it up to one of life's catch-22's.