Sorry for the insane amount of Britney Spears news this past week. I just feel it's my duty to keep you updated while she's self-destructing. With that, I present five reasons why Britney Spears is a bad mother (all the quotes come from a woman who applied to become Britney's nanny last year):

Your last job was as a long haul trucker? Who cares!:

"Britney didn't ask me one thing about my child-care experience. She only wanted to know about my personal life."

The going rate for BFFs is $15/hr:

"The agency that called me emphasized that Britney was looking for a nanny who was young and hip because they wanted her to interact with people her own age. Basically, Britney wanted a friend."

Rated R for sexual situations:

"Britney asked me and one of her nannies to come to her room to watch her try on outfits for a party one night - then she stripped down naked in front of us!"

I can fit some Jayden time into my schedule early next Tuesday but Sean's out of luck:

"One nanny told me that Britney will hold her kids for 10 minutes and then say, 'I'm done now. You can take them.'"

So help me God I will force you to love me

"She doesn't like when Sean prefers the nanny, so she fires them and looks for a new one." (Source)

Britney should do her kids a favor and drop them off in the forest somewhere. At least then they'd have a fighting chance. If Disney movies are to be trusted--and I have no reason to believe otherwise--Jayden and Sean will be claimed by a pack of caring wolves and everyone will live happily ever after. The end.

More of Britney and her stupid looking wig after the jump...