Orlando Bloom and Penelope Cruz probably had sex Sunday night. Hate to be so blunt about it but sometimes I like to get the point of a story without all the extraneous bullshit. The two were seen flirting “outrageously” at an Academy Awards pre-party. And as we know kids, outrageous flirting almost always leads to outrageous sex. A source told the U.K.’s Daily Mirror:
"Orlando and Penelope were playing pool and flirting outrageously. Penelope seemed more than a little smitten and afterwards they retired to a corner for a couple of drinks - they couldn't keep their hands off each other.” (Source)
Never been much of a flirting man myself. I think it comes from my Dad. I love the guy to death but man could he be crude sometimes. He used to always tell me “Son, if you’re flirting, you’re not penetrating.” “But Dad,” I used to counter, “the only thing these prisses are into is oral.” My Mom slapped me when she heard that, saying it was inappropriate language for a sixth grader. Whatever.
Some pics of Penelope at the Oscars after the jump...
Is Lindsay Lohan hitting the bottle again? Last Saturday morning a “raucous” group of girls claiming to be Lohan’s friend called the front desk of L.A.’s Mondrian Hotel “demanding bottles of alcohol be delivered to their room.” They claimed that Lohan herself was in the room with them. According to Lindsay’s rep, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, the so-called “friends” were lying:
"It's far-fetched that Lindsay was there. She was working all night on the movie set of 'I Know Who Killed Me' until 5 a.m. What kind of friends are these that are not supporting her sobriety?" (Source)
Lindsay wasn’t drinking because she was working until 5 a.m.? Yeah and my piss tastes like Dom Perignon. Leslie might as well have claimed that Lindsay wasn’t drinking “because she was in middle earth fighting dragons with a spork” ... or maybe “she was halfway across the world mediating peace talks between the Israelis and Palestinians.” The only work Lindsay is doing at 5 a.m. is cleaning the puke off the dude she was just blowing.
A few more pics of Lindsay at Winstons last Saturday night after the jump...
Now I feel like a dick for calling her fat last night. I know I know, but you try having a 130 pound heffer go reverse cowgirl on you. I though she was gonna snap the bed frame. Eat a salad.
(Source)
Source)
Source)
Source)
Source)
From today's New York Daily News: Which coked-up, oversexed celeb, not previously linked with guys, gave a pleasant surprise to a visiting gay New Yorker in the backyard of a pre-Oscars party in L.A. Friday night?
Selita Ebanks from the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition
More of Selita after the jump…
Kirsten Dunst's front teeth and a bottle opener
NOTE: Sorry about giving you only an eight hour buffer between close ups of Kirsten Dunst's teeth. Please no hate mail.
ary Lynn Rajskub at the Costume Designer's Guild Awards
More of the sneaky-hot Mary Lynn after the jump...
Fresh off her fling with Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel might be knocking boots with former That 70s Show star Wilmer Valderrama. The two were seen getting awfully close at the Gramercy Park Hotel in New York late last week. From a witness via the New York Post:
"They were in deep conversation. Then, Latin music was playing and he twirled her about. They seemed to be together all night." (Source)
How do average dudes like Wilmer Valderrama consistently hook up with famous chicks (Mandy Moore, Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Ashlee Simpson to name a few) yet I routinely go home empty handed on Saturday nights. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. Every weekend I wear my finest mesh shirt and quintuple up on the sprays of cologne to stand out but I've still never hooked up with anyone famous. Well unless you're counting Allesandra Ambrosio. But c'mon, she's more a supermodel than a celebrity. Idiot
Check out Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz doing their best impression of Cheech and Chong last week in Hawaii. They're being so sneaky about it, too. Bikinis, a public park, I'm amazed someone was lucky enough to get photographs. Almost amazed that I was able to post a story about Cameron Diaz without mentioning her horrible complexion. Oops!
horrible complexion. Oops!
horrible complexion. Oops!
horrible complexion. Oops!
A bunch more of Drew and Cameron smoking the reefer and dancing around in bikinis after the jump...
Wait, when did Mischa Barton add "hooker" to her resume? Because those are the only type of women who wear jaguar print pants with four inch heels. I mean, what the hell is she smoking? ...
Oh wait, nevermind.
More of Mischa the streetwalker after the jump...
