She needs to put on a little weight. Her tits are starting to disappear.

Ok, that's it! You are actually funnier than I am. I have rarely (if ever) said that before, but having read the above, can admit that freely...and I'm a Comedy writer! You rock! Keep up the good work.

hysterical! I was so sad and crying (you know...women stuff...lol) when I decided to read your website...and I am now crying...but laughing histerically.

You are great! A Peanut butter Jar..lol...can't stop! Keep up the great work!

XOXO and Happy New Year!

EAT SOMETHING!!! You might snap like a chicken!

oh get over her!!!!!! another latina on miami beach.....how original. she looks like a 12 year old boy from the front ( and arnt you not allowed to get your weave wet?) and star jones from the back, PRE surgery! ugh, im so sick of this overrated annoying "im better than everyone else" b/s, and her "i dont want to be cast as the sexy girl anymore i want to do dramas and romantic comedies" .....is it lonely up there on your pedistl, albatross?
and whoever says "my girlfriend is hotter" your probably right. albatross is just gross hair, gross face.
Oh don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with Jessica Alba, she has always looked like this. However, you usually have the media trying to sell you and to make you believe that you had to think she was hot or something special with photoshoped, airbrushed pictures and movies and gallons of makeup, so they could make more money off her (and off you), and America is dumb to the point it believes and buys whatever the media tells them to, with a blind faith.
She looked hot in Sin City just like any ok girl would have looked with all the makeup/effects/slutty clothes and slutty dance moves being flashed and saggy ass showing/flapping on she had on the movie. Forget about her being anything special, plus her body is nothing special neither, a stick with no curves and a giant dimpled ass whose waist is as wide as her hips with tiny boobs and celullite. But yet it’s so much better than the average North American female body, no wonder why some think it’s special, but funny how the vast majority of the people who do are other females.
Yes, probably your girlfriend is way hotter and prettier, with a way nicer body. It’s not hard to find a hotter/prettier girl than this one.
e… never found Jessica Alba special. No thanks, whoever wants this average mega overrated chick can keep her all to him/herself sure, one more thing:
I see cute/attractive girls walking down the street EVERYDAY that don’t need a team of stylists or gallons of makeup on in order to look “hot/sexy”

So guys, look at your gf, kiss her, and be thankful she doesn’t look like jessica alba without makeup on, because albatross a hideous excuse for a human life.

^Amen.

I usually don't get annoyed enough to post on these stupid blogs but this time I just had to. I am SO SICK of hearing men talk about how "fantastic" alba's flat ass is. Seriously, have ANY of you guys ever seen any woman besides alba at the beach before IN YOUR LIFE?? It's doubtful, because if you have, then you wouldn't be talking about her non-existant ass like it's the pinnicle of existance. IT ISN'T THERE. Especially for a hispanic woman, for god's sakes I am a skinny WHITE CHICK and my ass is far larger than alba's. Get over it and start checking out some real woman who actually eat once in awhile.

thank you dave and braniac. brainiac, i dont even know what you look like but trust me i KNOW your better looking than that haggard old skank. her "dance" in sin city was an utter idiot parade. tickel me elmo could have done a beter job. your right, brainiac, guys you need to invest in some glasses and check out the likes of mila kunis, amy smart, katherine heigel, and eva mendez!!!!!!

as for albatross? keep her and her bugges out eyes, flat tits and celulite riddled ass. go ahead, ill wait right here until shes 30 and HUGE and BEGGING Heff for a spread. 5ucking ugly (unt. she looks like she smells too.

lol bored rich amen to that shit. personally, cant stand her, her huge feet, knobby knees, celulite and stuck up attitude
get glasses, alba is only good with 8 inch thick beer goggles

Well i have to say with makup she is quite beutiful but without she is just another slut. But Bored rich...Mila Kunis? Yuck! i like her face but her body is nasty! especially her ass. But hey i like a conservative girl, like Mandy Moore

ROFL rich...
Yeah, any guy that is turned on by these photos is obviously a closet homo since flat tits and ass seem to impress you so much.

thanks, brainiac!!!! and if you enjoyed THAT diatribe, get ready for THIS one!
Have any of you guys been laid in the past 5 years?? What the f*ck is wrong with you snivelling snot-rags?? Have you no self respect?? Jessica Alba is a no-talent wannabee who is marketing that boney ass to the max. i heard that Derek Jeter threw this stupid bitch out of his apartment because of her attitude. Come on…give us all a fcking break. this sorry biatch is almost as over-rated as that other idiot lindsey lohan. jesus fucking christ. Sad. Real fcking SAD.
get a life, have you SEEN her lately???!!!! not my type, never will be, i like kat heigel, carmen electra– and as far as the comment : ” i always get roles for the whore…..i cant see natile portman getting thse kind of scrips!”
ok fug, hats because natalie portman was in STAR WARS!!! all YOU do, jesie , is crap on a dvd and call it a hit.
and another thing, She’s a bitch.
One of those women that think that their shit doesn’t stink?
A head the size of a small planetoid?
What has she done?
Dick.
Not ONE starring role to speak of
AND DON’T GIVE ME THAT “SHE’S YOUNG! SHE’S NEW TO GETTING ROLES!”

What happened? She can’t reapply her lipstick any quicker?

Name one, uno, f**king movie that she’s been in that has had you exit the motherf**king theater saying “good job, Jessica.”

DO NOT mention that she’s hot.

Catherine Zeta Jones is hot. (Oscar winner)
Reese WItherspoon is hot. ( Oscar winner)

Wanna know the difference?

JESSICA ALBA CAN’T F**KING ACT!

Am I saying she gets these parts because of her looks?
How do you spell “obvious”?!
instead of growing as bitch, maybe she should growing the f**k up first.
lol even better!
I’ve mentioned my hatred of her in a couple of previous posts, but somehow hating Jessica Alba has been a recent hobby on my part.

She’s a triple threat: an ugly, mean spirited, talentless “actress” who wouldn’t even have a career outside of Hollywood if people didn’t think she was hot, and she’s overexposed to boot.

I fail to see what’s so good about her, looks or talentwise. Being hot (which she is NOT, imo) is totally irrelevant if you can’t act worth shit, such is the case on her part. I’ve seen her horrid turns in the following films:

Idle Hands - First movie I’ve seen her in, and she couldn’t be a more perfect example of the type of actress who would go on to become famous for anything OTHER than her non-existent talent.
Sin City - I think I hated her more in this film than anything else I’ve seen her in, it just makes me angry to know how much better the ‘That Yellow Bastard’ section would’ve been if someone else had been cast in the role of Nancy. She was totally incompetent, giving an overall lifeless, wooden performance, delivering her lines most of the time without a hint of emotion (like how she is with EVERY one of her roles). But it was even more cringe inducing when she tried to emote (the overly sweet innocence that she disgustingly projects, the horrible smile plastered on her face at all times, etc).
Fantastic Four - Yet another crapper, but she had horrible lines to work with so I’ll cut her just a little bit of slack.

Those movies aside, I couldn’t even finish the trainwreck that is Honey, and I also hated what I saw of ‘Dark Angel’.

She’s done what, 4 to 5 unimpressive movies and a forgettable TV series that requires her to do nothing more than be ‘kickass’ and she already considers herself a ’star’? Her whole diva attitude is offputting, WHAT right does she have to BE a ‘diva’, where’s the talent to back it up and where’s the star quality? I certainly don’t see it in Alba. Zero talent, awful movies (except Sin City, but she was by far the worst thing about it), a lack of charisma (yeah, yeah, people like her because of her face & body, but is that really enough for someone to achieve star status?besides, theres NOTHING special about her body whatsoever), etc. There is absolutely NOTHING worthy about her.

y advice: Take acting lessons, grow the fuck up and strip away the ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude or you can just shove your bullshit fame, money, ugly publicity stills up your ass for all I care.

So, yeah, to summarize, I HATE Jessica Alba! Hate hate hate hate hate her. Hate her. Hate that fact she continually gets roles based solely on her looks, hate the fact she acts like a fucking prima donna when she doesn’t have even have the abilities to back up her little diva attitude, hate the way she delivers her lines, hate the fact that her lack of range and emotions could STILL get her recognition from critics and audiences alike, etc. etc. etc.

There are plenty of young actresses these days with a sufficient amount of both talent and looks, namely Scarlett Johansson, Rachel McAdams, Reese Witherspoon, and Natalie Portman. Alba could learn a thing or two from them.

ah, yes, sorry folks but otta do some more slobba bashing. her feet are also the grossest thing ever. shes what, 5'7 and her feet are as big as her boyfriend's. she has full out monkey toes, as well as a monkey face.Jessica Alba is the closet homo’s last beard before coming out. She is FUG-ly.
I’d rather fu¢k a real woman than this a no-talent, scrawny, completely unfeminine wannabe who frolicks on beaches in mis-matched bikinis hoping someone will take her photo so a bunch of losers whose blow-up dolls have sprung a leak can blather on about how hot she is.
Her 15 minutes are officially UP. besides, ive never seen a dog with acne before… lol
she looks like a 12 year old boy ( or nicole richie, whichever you prefer ) from the front, and star jones from the back, loosing weight or not, her hispanic housewife genes wont get rid of THAT cellulite, when she hits 30, she better stay anorexic because shes going to end up looking like rosie o’donnel. PLUS, my personal fave…she was voted worst dressed in the new STAR mag, so lol!!!! the caption was something like “this dress is hiding whats even worse underneath” and NO “worse” was not in context with “ooh, its worse because shes so fuckinf fine!” yeah, NO. get the FUCK OVER HER!!!
Circus of the Stars 2012: Starring Jessica Alba! Watch as Jessica swallows an entire bowling ball! That’s right, the star of such classics as Honey 2: I Need the Money, Honey 3: Will You Ever Learn, and Back Into The Blue will entertain you…cause she won’t get paid if she doesn’t. And here’s Jessica….!”

She’s not an actress.
She’s an entertainment personality…but she’s not entertaining and her actual personality sucks, and she aint that hot. sorry, but many on the site agree!

Which means…
She ain’t shit.

Easy math, no?

JESSICA ALBA…Fuck You!

I’ve never been that impressed by her looks, her acting, or her body. For someone who is reputedly has the “best body” in Hollywood (according to some recent comments on this blog), she leaves me cold, especially her legs which have little calf definition and seem rather unshapely at the thighs. She seems to be at a low but healthy weight. A boring girl, not average, cute, just plain distainfully hideous

Amen, Salvador!
look at this pic of her fugliness:

http://socialitelife.com/images/2007/03/jessica_alba_031907_04.php

http://www.egotastic.com/image?path=0508/jessica-alba-bikini-hq-001.jpg

^^^^ check out the knobby knees, fleshy thighs, flabby belly, vile weave inducing thoughts of a yellow-bikini-clad Medusa, pigeon toes and those FEET! i bet she and her boyfriend share shoes.
LOL

She looks at least 35 and well that's what hard drugs and anorexia will do to you.

She is amazingly FAT and looking more and more USED and UGLY with every day that passes. Not a super star look anymore.
Rather than her spend all that energy on making uneducated comments, acting and takling like she is going on 12 years old ( well, her face looks like a kindergrardner...what the fuck is wrong with you pple, micheal jackson called, he wants his pedophilia back! going to every place in Hollywood/NYC, taking drugs, having sex with anything that moves so she can get roles in films. What she should really do is just stay home, and by home i mean the rock she crawled out from. She really just loves getting all the video & photo attention she can. Like they say any PR is good PR unless you have no talent like her.

She has the mind set of a spoiled child and I find it laughable and sad at the same time that her "talent" is going to be nothing more than a HUGE FLOP. The sooner she fades away the better . She had her day and she was that product of jst an annoying litle snail trail in dark angel, and MAYBE that worked when she listened to the right people and when she did what she was told, but the second she started acting like a spoiled child and had to do everything her way that is when the old bus ride ended. I can’t wait until she just goes away.

Please, please I hope she would just hurry up and release that shit she calls "acting" and paste on all those ugly cheap weaves and sell under a million and she will get her PR company thinking that the best thing they can do is find someone else that will NOT act like a psudo-priss and hopefully kick her off her pedistal.
Then hopfully she will take her stupid ass on some phony "retirement" party that few if any will show up, she has basically, NO friends. whens the last time you saw albatross with anyone but her castrated boyfriend?? Then get the worst reviews for her wretched thespian abortion and if God is listening she will please go back to her barrio of skeeze and cockroaches.
She is a a fucking has been and she needs to find out the hard way so she will just fade away forever....

LOL to bored rich!!! LOL those were heinus pix!!!! how ANYONE xould find this monkey faces bugged eyed used mattress is BEYOND me

shes got a hot bod, are you gay?

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING. i highly DOUBT those who dont like this cuntrag are gay. if someone said, "Gisele Bunchen isnt hot" would you say 'are you gay?'????????
when will this mega-overrated fug face chick totally disappear? there's gonna be Sin City 2 and Sin City 3, if she's not on the 3rd one we'll only have to wait until the 2nd one is released, a few months after that hopefully she will disappear, lets hope she's not featured on the 3rd one, because to see digitally enhanced images of her revolting self in revealing clothes attempting her hardest to look sexy shaking her flabby fatass being flashed again and again in 1 movie is enough. It's gonna get real boring if that scene keeps being repeated. Is it really the only way they can make Jessica Alba look fuckable and good looking? Haha, I see WAY hotter chicks looking WAY hotter everyday, and they don't need to be on a professional makeup artist's chair for 5 hours, they don't need to have a stylist, they don't need to be told what clothes to wear, they don't need airbrushing, photoshop and digital enhancing and they don't need a professional photographer to look 10000 times hotter than Jessica Alba does. Man is Alba pathetic. She owes her success to the movie Sin City because she was playing a whore, showing her ass and shaking it in scenes being flashed only to make viewers horny so they would go see the movie, and it took like 6 hours in the makeup chair with a team of preofessional makeup artists, professional stylists etc to be able to make her look hot, and still it didnt work!!!! Other than the bare naked whorish ass shaking and dance moves intended to make people horny, she looks like a retarded monkey, nothing special compared to the kind of REAL hotties there's out there. She owes her success to that and still dares to claim that "she doesn't want to take sexy roles" or that "nudity is against what she is" and gets mad because an image of her appears on the cover of Playboy... LMAO!! how PATHETIC can this chick be? how come she's gonna act in Sin City 2 again if she doesn't wanna take whore roles and if nudity is against what she is? Because that's the only way for her to have people think she's hot and to have people interested in her. She's not good looking enough to be considered sexy if she doesn't take whore roles. She's no Carmen Electra,. Plus, she's BORING as hell, and as an actress, a total joke. Pathetic and fucking stupid! Disappear already mega-overrated idiot!
btw, what's up with that waist as wide as her hips and flat butt? isn't Jessica Alba an icon for desperate people? who would dare to say this chick is hot? during the Sin City days I understand, but nowadays, ROFLOL!
seriously, is there anyone other than desperate morons who STILL think this chick is hot?
I never saw any hot or good looking chick, damn, any non-ugly chick say Jessica Alba was good looking or compliment her looks in any way. It's all ugly chicks who do mostly (about 85-90%), the rest are ugly desperate losers who have not seen a good looking woman or a hot chick in their lives.
And fuck, I never found Holly Madison too hot, but put her pic next to Jessica Alba's pictures, Holly looks like a fucking megahot goddess.

Yo thats meen!!!!Jessica has a nice body!!!You lot are just pissd at her coz she is better then you & she always will be...who gives a shit if she only gets the role coz of her looks..she has more going for her then any of yuo losers & will make more in 1 film then you in a life time!!!
This shit she looks like a 12 yr old boy is shit!!she dosent need to have Pamela Andersons boobs to look prity..she is just fine the way she is,she has a nice face & a nice body!!
This stuff bout her beeng a bitch hahah youz are sad..how do you know she is..???Have you meet her or spend the day with her..??NOOOO!!!so shut the fuck up & stop saying shit bout someone you dont know coz its all BS!!!!!
You are sad sad little people who have nothing better to do then sit and make stupid comments bout Jessica Alba...get your act togethe go to the mirror a FULL length one,take a good look in it & then you can open your trap to say something bout Jessica...yuo are nothing compared to her..!!
She pay not be the hottes in Hollywood but she sure is still prity & not skiny she is just perfect!!!
So fuck the lot of you that this otherwise!!

iceman, thats because i am an MAN, of course im nothing compared to her. and QUITE happy with THAT, thank you.
now, move along kiddies, theres more overrated meat to be seen...maybe there hot, who knows? iceman, you have your opinions and i have mine, so fucking deal with it

Ross really tell me why you dont like Jessica??& dont give me that shit that she looks like a boy!!!
Give me a proper excuse!!i am a girl & no i dont like her in that way but i think she is really prity...
Who is your type if she is not..??Angelina or Scarlett..??
ps: didnt meen to offend you or any other person...just girls always bitch at other girls who are better looking then them...

either you people are raving homosexuals or ugly chicks, can't just admire a nice looking woman? Did your mommy beat you? You're the fag ass dudes who would shit if a nice woman ever did come on to you!

Another ugly girl who thinks she's the greatest thing since sliced bread! And no, gavitar, I'm not a lesbian, but a heterosexual guy who just doesn't find this wench attractive!

Iceman, i cant stand the foul turd that is albatross. shes NOT pretty, below average, and you are all seeing her covered with makeup, flattering lighting, and all her GQ pics look like theve been airbrushed in a windtunnel. i fucking hate this bitch, and just because a man or a woman does NOT agree with "ooh jessica!!! shes #1!!" does NOT make them gay, haters, jealous, fat, ugly, stupid or a looser. this is america, and we all have our own opinions so suck it

Iceman-- the reason i cant stand the foul turd that is albatross is because when i went with my little sister and her 3 friends to an autograph signing (we waited for 4 hours in that line and when we finally got in, she wasnt even there.) when we got in, 1 hour LATER, albatross stalks in l;ike she owns the place, starts yelling that theres "no flowers like i asked for!" my sister's face looked SO sad, and then, albatross decides shes too good for this and as she was leaving, my sis asked her for her autograph, and she snarled, "go away little kid!"
ok, jessica, your FANS and the paparazzi MADE you.
A pretentious talentless ho who is ashamed of her origins what a shame shame on her
And i agree with all of you here whene she said " im tired and sick of doing always a sexy roles and whene ppl said im pretty.. " well don't flash your HUGE celulite ridden ass on the magazines getting half naked then she is searching of that attention a hypocrite liar not new in hollywood
Physically honestly i don't know what is the big deal she is fug, boring; an oridinary girl if she walks behind me on the street i will not even pay attention to her there is so many hotter women she can't even get close to she is nothing special she looks gross with/without makeup lol and my goodness "the return of death zombie 3" and here on that pix even with/without all the make up she looks like a tranny mess wtf her eyes and nose looks ugly and her body which curves is she talking about ? she has no curves a HUGE celulit-y ass a skinny boyish upper body
GET OVER HER!

i hate this slut and im so sick of “im sick of being sexy!” while she STILL poses 1/2 nude and her GQ spread made me laugh!!!!spitting water is NOT sexy, and she looks ridiculous in that white and black bathing suit. ive never liked her, not even in dark angel ( when she was fat ), not in idel hands ( when she was meh, at BEST ) im so fucking sick of this overrated scum bucket. shes just scraping the bottom of the dumpster for some more fame.
i hope she fucking crashes and burns. she looks like she smells too.
plus she looks at LEAST 35, but thats what anorexia and hard drugs and low self esteem will do to you. she should have kept it up, maybe her ass will dissappear. and the celuFAT? albatross, get your self to the fucking lipo dissolve place where brit got her ( some of it ) fat removed. both look like shit anyway. britney craps on a CD and calls it music, albatross shits on a DVD and calls it TALENT
lol

Some people here are such f*cking idiots they don't even know what the f*ck they're talking about. You guys really think Jessica Alba is over-rated? What about Paris Hilton?? Has somebody mentioned that bitch's name in this blog? Jessica Alba...to me, I think she has a great body. Her boobs aren't overly sized and doesn't have a whole bunch of fat slapped on her ass. It's f*cking typical though. Why do you gay f*cks here in America always want woman's boobs to be double d'd up and enjoy looking at a HUGE ass. To me, I think it's f*cking nasty. I would never want my girlfriend to look like that, but this is America so it's not suprising. So what if she can't act. It's not her fault that you chose to watch the movie she's in if you really don't like her. I admit it, she's not really a caliber actor because she's never really been given a serious role. This lady is still young. Her career is not dead yet and I don't think she will end up like Paris Hilton or Britney Spears or Tara Reid. You can bash about her anytime you want, but you have to at least tell me she's not ugly. FHM wouldn't pick Jessica Alba to be # 1 on their list WORLDWIDE.

look no ones gay, fat, 'haters', jealous, blind or stupid.
um "these guys in this room r GAY" , maybe you should check yourself. worldwide?! lol that slut's only "worldwide" ANYTHING is her giant, used up pussy and ass holes. she denies her latin heritage, here look:

http://www.mollygood.com/jessica-alba/no-bueno-jessica-20070615/

another thing? she DISSED the TROOPS!!! OUR troops who are fighting for US!!!!! for gods sake, who does she think she is??!!!
here read for yourself:

http://bradpita.typepad.com/bradpita/2007/05/jessica_alba_di.html

also, she has herpes, and im in MED school, 2nd year, and you know what? this pic im about to show you? that is NO ordinary cold sore!!!! LOL whatever, she deserves it, she spreads her legs for everyone who MIGHT give her a "serious" role LOL
check her herpes out: lower lip.... (shudders) i wonder which script boy she got that one from?

http://thesuperficial.com/image.php?path=/2007/06/jessica-alba-ff2-premiere-05.jpg
and... discuss

I'd hit it.

didn’t care for her at first-then everyone kept saying how she was hot-then they aired “Honey" on TV-I think she’s pretty, but also a slut-but not your average slut-kind of slut that shows cleavage at work but expects men not sexually harass her-I guess that's what bugs me the most is that she maintains that she’s modest in the Hollywood sense of the word (meaning doesn’t do nudity) and a "good girl" who is also intelligent. I think she’s probably getting off easy b/c she’s rich pretty, and famous. basically, I have no respect for the skank as that is all she is, as is every other celebrity, but at least they don’t pretend to be otherwise

Wow...You guys all seriusoly need to find something better to do with yor lives

i'm with Mike lol

she has herpes. thats enough vile-ness for me, morons. shes gross, overrated and used up. rock n roll, deal with it. she is NOT the fucking oracle of life.

ha ha this knocked up whore is "popping out " a baby just like her aunts, who she says "are all fat", and getting married to cash--change, whatever his name is, i hope her baby comes out dark and as dark as her man, so that shell be pissed because then she cant say, "I am NOT latina!" slut, wanna-be actres with NO talant, you ARE LATINA!!! where do you think you got your skin color, your lips? hell, shes fuckin gross