Whew! I was wondering when Italian fashion designer/burn victim Giorgio Armani would offer his opinion about David Beckham's new deal with the L.A. Galaxy. According to Armani:

"If reports (that the deal is worth $250 million) are true, then he has done the right thing. And I think he wants to be an actor, not a footballer. He is a very handsome man and his football career could be nearing an end. Also, look at this wife...I saw her at Tom Cruise's wedding and she is a very bubbly lady."

Bubbly lady? What the hell kind of compliment is that? That sounds like something your teacher would write on your third grade report card. Why not call her "handsome" or say she has "really great incisors?" Perhaps Armani meant to say her tits look like god damn bubbles. See, now that makes sense--he was probably misquoted. Sorry George.