According to Star Magazine, there's a very good chance that Kirsten Dunst may be pregnant:

She has been spotted wearing baggy clothing, ordering big boxes of sweet chocolaty treats, and overheard complaining of lower back pain and nausea during filming. Her rep denies that these tell-tale signs are signaling that Kirsten is a mom-to-be, but her interest in co-star Tobey Maguire’s newborn daughter suggests otherwise. Kirsten has become fascinated by details about the pregnancy of Tobey’s fiancée, Jennifer Meyer, asking how she dealt with morning sickness. When Tobey replied that Jennifer felt awful throughout the entire nine months, Kirsten just groaned, “Oh great!”

One word comes to mind when I see this story: Kirsten Dunst is uglier than death itself. Actually that's seven words but you get the point. Make no mistake, I feel very strongly about this. What especially pisses me off is that the entertainment media is constantly hyping her as "beautiful" or "stunning." When I finally seize control of Hollywood, anyone who calls Kirsten Dunst "beautiful" will be charged with a hate crime. Seriously, if she's stunning, then my toilet is slightly above average.

Actual conversation I had last week with my friend (we have our own scale of attractiveness, 10 being the hottest, "Dunst" being the ugliest):

Friend: "I got so wasted at Kyle's bar mitzvah that I hooked up with his Aunt."

Me: "Was she Dunst?"

Friend: "Yeah dude, WAY Dunst"

Me: "You've lost me both as a friend and a close confidant"

Note: Doesn't pregnancy usually require a willing penis to be inserted inside of you? Which seems impossible when talking about someone who looks like a hybrid vampire woman. Maybe Kirsten is kinda like the cop from Terminator 2. You chop off her foot and it pools into a puddle of liquid mercury before suddenly morphing into a new baby. I'd say that's pretty damn likely.