In what might go down as the most unbelievable story of the year, K-Fed might have nailed Jennifer Aniston. After hanging out with her former Friends' costars, Jennifer and a group of her girlfriends hit up Club Citrus to partake in some limoncellos--Danny DeVito's drink of choice. It just so happened that one of Britney Spears' ex-husbands was also at the club "slamming a Colt 45 while wearing a too-large-for-his-frame velour sweatsuit."

FedEx and his posse...went nuts when they saw Jen. My sources tell me they spent the rest of the night in a private area, making fun of their exes. When the lights of the club finally came on, the two were seen escaping into the shadows through a back door. Citrus owner Peter Chin, always tight-lipped about his mega-star clientele, would neither confirm nor deny the story, then gave me his signature 'wink.'

WTF? Where do you even begin with a story like this? It's so far out there, it has to be true. I guess we'll know for sure in about nine months since it's impossible for any mortal woman to sleep with K-Fed and not get pregnant. Condoms you say? Don't be foolish. His über-sperm is so potent, it just burns right through tables like some sort of government engineered super-acid. If this guy nails Jessica Biel, I will officially kill myself.

P.S. In Hollywood terms, a "wink" pretty much means Jen and K-Fed did everything but anal