My God it's actually happening. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting married tomorrow in the small Italian town of Bracciano. Understandably, Cruise and Holmes are keeping the wedding simple and low key, choosing to get married in a ginormous castle that normally costs $50,000 to rent. I say "normally" because the mayor of Bracciano, Patrizia Riccioni, is so happy that TomKat chose her city that she waived the entire rental fee. She also presented the couple with a congratulatory card that read:

"A sincere note in sign of gratitude from the city of Bracciano, for having chosen it as the place where to crown your dream of love." Riccioni has an even bigger honour in store for the couple when they become man and wife: she plans to give them honorary citizenship to Bracciano, "Because they have brought so much to our little village."

Yeah, we'll see how happy this mayor is when the horde of Scientologists sweep through town buying up the entire supply of Reynold's Wrap to make their aluminum foil hats. Because, as any true Scientologist could tell you, only a brand name foil will stop the government from reading all of your thoughts. The satellites will penetrate right through that store brand crap.

Note: That guy in the picture above is Xenu and, if you haven't guessed by now, he plays a prominent role in Scientology doctrine. Seriously.