Let's review the last week of Paris Hilton's life: Last Wednesday she claimed her slutty behavior was all an act and she'd actually rather eat than have sex. This week she goes out in public wearing pajamas with bruises covering her body. Not just any bruises, though, "grabbing" bruises (as if someone was perhaps holding onto her and "thrusting" from behind). Hmmmm. I don't pretend to be an ace private investigator (actually I do but that's between me and the 24 people suing me for fraud) but I think Paris may have been lying last week. Stunning.
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