International rap megastar Kevin Federline has constructed quite the rider for his current hugely-successful concert tour (a rider is basically a list of requested items that artists give promoters. Most of the time, the demands are reasonable: water, soda, sandwiches-- though sometimes the demands are outrageous: ice-sculptures, young Laotian boys, sugar-free cotton candy):

The purported rapper actually has a rider that requires his dressing room to be stocked with Jack Daniel's, Grey Goose vodka, a gourmet cheese tray, and aromatherapy candles. Additionally, Federline, 28, needs someone to purchase his smokes for him (two packs of Marlboros). Finally...Federline demands a bag of Doritos, either regular or cool ranch flavored.

It's like K-Fed's trying to break free from his white trash ways (aromatherapy candles, gourmet cheese, Grey Goose), yet, like the siren's call, his old vices (Doritos, Jack Daniels, Marlboros) keep drawing him back in. If he's serious about breaking the image, he needs to go cold turkey on all those things. The cigarettes are going to be especially tough--I just can't see a man like K-Fed turning his back on flavor country.

Has any of you heard of the brand of beer that K-Fed wants ("Beer??")? I think it's some sort of Japanese brand. Those crazy Asians!