Rod Stewart says if his daughter's good friend, Paris Hilton, was 20 years older, he'd probably be tapping that ass:

Rocking Romeo Rod admits the blonde singer/actress would have been at the top of his list of lovely ladies if she had been around when he was enjoying the fruits of his labour. Stewart, who first met Hilton when she was 14, tells men's magazine Blender, "She was very attractive then... I happened to notice. She would have definitely fallen into the right parameters."

Boasting that you could nail Paris Hilton is like me bragging I could beat a handicapped kid in a footrace. It's satisfying—hell, it's damn satisfying—but not exactly much a challenge. Unless they have a wheelchair. Damn cheating cripples haven't heard the last of me!