The entrance to the club was so packed that Jackson and crew had to enter through the adjacent strip club Tens. According to our spy, "Janet was very impressed with the moves of one stripper called Venus and wrote down her phone number, gave it to her bodyguard, who in turn gave it to Venus . . . Larry was there to take pictures, but wasn't allowed to in the strip club because of house rules."

Let's review this story again. Janet is having an album release party at this New York club. The entrance is so packed, it could pass as the gates to the album release party last week at the new club Room Service in New York City. Accompanying Janet was photographer Larry Birkhead, Anna Nicole Smith's ex:

The entrance to the club was so packed that Jackson and crew had to enter through the adjacent strip club Tens. According to our spy, "Janet was very impressed with the moves of one stripper called Venus and wrote down her phone number, gave it to her bodyguard, who in turn gave it to Venus . . . Larry was there to take pictures, but wasn't allowed to in the strip club because of house rules."

Let's review this story again. Janet is having an album release party at this New York club. The entrance is so packed, it could pass as the gates to the Saigon embassy right before we pulled out of 'Nam in 1975. How does Janet get in? Surprise! There's a place next door with a secret entrance. Oh yeah, that place also has naked women dancing about on tables. Did my head just fucking explode? Why does this type of stuff never happen to normal human beings like me? Just once I'd like to open the bathroom door at Taco Bell and find a whorehouse.

Two Vietnam references in one day? Beat that National Enquirer! Tomorrow I'll see if I can work in a little Russo-Japanese War humor.