Remember last week when I posted that story about Ryan Phillippe "wishing he wasn't married" because he was using guy-code-speak to tell us he was banging his groupies? And you thought I was kidding? Well guess what, today I officially gained the title of "prescient badass" because Phillippe and Witherspoon announced their separation:

"We are saddened to announce that Reese and Ryan have decided to formally separate," the couple's rep said in a statement released to TMZ on Monday. "They remain committed to their family and we ask that you please respect their privacy and the safety of their children at this time. Sources tell TMZ that Witherspoon has contacted celebrity divorce lawyer Robert Kaufman. The couple of seven years have two children, Ava, 7, and Deacon, 3. No one specific event is said to have triggered the split. A source tells TMZ that the decision to separate was "cumulative." The couple have admitted to attending marriage counseling in the past. Divorce papers have not yet been filed.

Miss Cleo ain't got nothing on me--besides around 300 pounds and bulbous cankles. Honestly, though, let's quit with the fat jokes for today. I don't want to distract from the celebration of my greatness. Is 25 too young to be pictured on a stamp?

Bonus: You can't really tell there's a separation looming from this picture of Reese and Ryan at the Flags of Our Fathers premiere. They just look so damn happy together. Young love!