Carmen Electra's career is really taking off:

"We are excited to partner with such a talented personality as Ms. Electra to offer this exciting card program," Louis Hoch, President and COO of Payment Data Systems, annoucned. "The Carmen Electra Prepaid MasterCard and Carmen Electra Gift MasterCard cards are unlike any others because of their extremely competitive pricing, exclusive Carmen Electra content and continuously evolving features and benefits."

"Continuously evolving?" That sounds like something Charles Darwin would say to his crew while standing on the deck of the Beagle. And how the hell did this company president guy deliver this statement with a straight face? He does realize that his company is now represented by Carmen Electra. I couldn't give a shit about a low APR when I see Carmen Electra. Not when I have this raging erection.