On Friday Ellen DeGeneres was named as the host of the upcoming 79th Academy Awards.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences has tapped car-crash survivor Ellen DeGeneres to host the 79th Annual Academy Awards telecast, airing Feb. 25. Per Variety, DeGeneres, who hosted the twice-postponed, post-9/11 Emmys, responded to the news by saying, "There are so many awards shows, but the Oscars are still the epitome. Every year I hope to do it. Thank god they asked me!" Might Ellen usher in a kinder, gentler kudoscast? Calling so much of today's humor "cynical and aggressive, and audiences are so jaded," she says, "I'm hoping to get rid of that." Phooey. Will Pirates of the Caribbean be on the other channel?

During the press conference Ellen said this was going to be the "lesbianist" Oscars ever. I'm not really sure what that means but if it involves orphans juggling daggers and bears dancing around wearing huge diapers, you better believe I'm watching that shit. The fact that Ellen's name is preceded by the phrase "car crash survivor" just seals the deal.

named as the host of the upcoming 79th Academy Awards.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences has tapped car-crash survivor Ellen DeGeneres to host the 79th Annual Academy Awards telecast, airing Feb. 25. Per Variety, DeGeneres, who hosted the twice-postponed, post-9/11 Emmys, responded to the news by saying, "There are so many awards shows, but the Oscars are still the epitome. Every year I hope to do it. Thank god they asked me!" Might Ellen usher in a kinder, gentler kudoscast? Calling so much of today's humor "cynical and aggressive, and audiences are so jaded," she says, "I'm hoping to get rid of that." Phooey. Will Pirates of the Caribbean be on the other channel?

During the press conference Ellen said this was going to be the "lesbianist" Oscars ever. I'm not really sure what that means but if it involves orphans juggling daggers and bears dancing around wearing huge diapers, you better believe I'm watching that shit. The fact that Ellen's name is preceded by the phrase "car crash survivor" just seals the deal.

named as the host of the upcoming 79th Academy Awards.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences has tapped car-crash survivor Ellen DeGeneres to host the 79th Annual Academy Awards telecast, airing Feb. 25. Per Variety, DeGeneres, who hosted the twice-postponed, post-9/11 Emmys, responded to the news by saying, "There are so many awards shows, but the Oscars are still the epitome. Every year I hope to do it. Thank god they asked me!" Might Ellen usher in a kinder, gentler kudoscast? Calling so much of today's humor "cynical and aggressive, and audiences are so jaded," she says, "I'm hoping to get rid of that." Phooey. Will Pirates of the Caribbean be on the other channel?

During the press conference Ellen said this was going to be the "lesbianist" Oscars ever. I'm not really sure what that means but if it involves orphans juggling daggers and bears dancing around wearing huge diapers, you better believe I'm watching that shit. The fact that Ellen's name is preceded by the phrase "car crash survivor" just seals the deal.