Mariah Carey

During her recent New York City concert, Mariah Carey tried to convince concert-goers that, despite previous accounts of her fucking insane behavior, she's no diva.

'I AM not a diva!" If Mariah Carey said it once, she said it a dozen times during her Madison Square Garden gig the other night. Mariah, honey, we believe you. But guess what, your fanatically devoted fans don't care. They love you as a diva. They love you breaking down. They love you coming back. They love you hitting those stratospheric notes. Mariah, whose hair is pretty stratospheric too, wore her usual selection of bodacious body-revealing get-ups, which can lead one to miss some of those big notes.

Bullshit. Mariah Carey is the type of diva that makes her assistant separate all black m&ms into a separate bowl. When the assistant tells Mariah they don't make black m&ms, she's rewarded with a swift kick to the back of the head. And then fired. And to prove she means business, Mariah orders 52 pizzas to the assistant's house. You know because that's the sorta thing divas do.

I'd rather be a diva than a damn whore.

[WENN]