NSFW!

Don’t click the picture. Just trust me dude, don’t click the picture.

He's totally checking out his ass

Writer Grant Wahl devotes an entire chapter to the friendship between David Beckham and Tom Cruise in his upcoming book The Beckham Experiment. Wahl claims Cruise has influenced "every major decision" Beckham has made since the two met in 2003 -- including the name of his third son, Cruz. Because why wouldn't you name your son after a guy you've known for an entire year? From the New York Daily News:

"I must admit, when [Victoria and I] met Tom, I remember turning around to Victoria and saying, 'Cruise is a great name, but we could spell it different,'" Beckham told Wahl for the book, due from Crown Publishing on Tuesday. "And also, living in Spain, Cruz is spelled the way it is in Spanish. So that's why we got it."

It sounds like David's memory might be a little fuzzy on this matter. When he came up with the name Cruz for his son, David should have remembered "turning around" not to Victoria but to Tom and saying "use more lube" "mind the stepchildren" "Cruise is a great name." It's nice to know how open-minded Victoria is with David's sentimentality towards his ex-lovers. My future wife would probably be furious if we ended up naming our kid Adriana, Alessandra, or Used Gym Sock.

Elle Macpherson

Elle Macpherson at the Jaguar KJ launch party in London (7/9)

Hayden Panettiere at a screening of I Love You, Beth Cooper in New York (7/7)

In an interview with the August issue of Details, Hayden Panettiere reveals she was "tortured" by bullies as a kid. From the magazine:

It's not easy being beautiful and special and talented,

Wait, are we sure this is an article about Hayden Panettiere?

and Panettiere lived through her share of Mean Girls shit. Mostly homeschooled, she occasionally returned from acting gigs to her public school in Rockland County, New York, and her classmates' wrath. In middle school, she was punched in the face by "a very angry, very sad girl," she says, as if echoing the words her mom used to comfort her at the time. "I was tortured, emotionally tortured by these girls. Every time I came back from filming, it would be me trying to find my way back into the clique. And they weren't having it."

Hayden wasn't beaten up by kids at school because she was so "beautiful and special and talented." She was beaten up because she THOUGHT she was. Besides, considering the fact that she was mostly homeschooled, I think we really know who used to hit her . . . click here to learn more about Alan Panettiere!

Lindsay Lohan returning to Sam Ronson's house in the Hollywood Hills (7/7)

You know that new line of spray tan "Sevin Nyne" Lindsay Lohan helped develop (read: she was paid $50k for use of her name). I think she may also be a heavy user. Don't ask me how I learned this secret. A journalist never reveals his sources!

Brad Garrett and his girlfriend Isabella at the World Series of Poker in Las Veas (7/7)

Brad Garrett brought his girlfriend Isabella along with him to the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas this week (the same one he took to Maui a few weeks ago). And she thanked him by wearing a see-through top to distract the other players. Did it work? I don't know but one guy Brad was playing against kept mumbling something about "go fish."

NOTE: To see the uncensored pic, click the headline pic and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

Paris Hilton arriving to court in Miami (7/9)

Paris Hilton is set to testify in Miami today. She's being sued by a group of Miami investors who feel she didn't do enough to promote her 2006 classic Pledge This!. For those of you keeping score at home, Pledge This! is currently the 30th worst movie of all time, as voted on by IMDB users. It's even worse than Fire Maidens from Outer Space (1956) and The Barbaric Beast of Boggy Creek, Part II (1985). From the Associated Press:

The lawsuit seeks more than $8 million from Hilton and her entertainment firm. The film was an abject failure at the box office, making about $2.9 million worldwide. Hilton contends she did everything she could to plug the movie.

The trial begins Thursday, and Hilton is expected to testify Friday. She's been in Dubai filming her "My New BFF" reality show. The lawsuit was filed by a court-appointed receiver for a defunct Miami entertainment company that invested in the movie.

This may be the first time in Paris' life that she's ever been accused of not self-promoting enough. Of course, the reality is that the plaintiffs probably don't have much of a case. Getting Paris to promote the film by releasing a new sex tape or blowing every guy that bought a ticket was never agreed upon in writing. It was just expected.

Jennifer Garner leaving her daughter's school in Santa Monica (7/4)

+ How the hell was she in Playboy [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Anna Kournikova has cleavage [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Eva Longoria getting way too friendly with Tony Parker's brother [Moejackson]
+ Carmen Electra gets topless in Las Vegas (NSFW) [The Superficial]
+ Gisele Bundchen is blonde and busty [Popoholic]

+ Jennifer Aniston being held at gun point [I'm Not Obsessed]
+ What big-boobed chicks see at the beach (SFW) [College Humor]
+ It's Jude Law's nipples! [Dlisted]
+ Menudo the musical! [Lossip]

+ Michael Jackson's body escaped the memorial via secret tunnel [Yeeeah!]
+ Bruno is about to blow [CityRag]
+ A little something for the ladies [popbytes]
+ Morgan Freeman might marry his step-granddaughter. Yikes. [Gabby Babble]

Ana Cunha

Brazilian model Ana Cunha

Lady Gaga arriving to her hotel in Las Vegas (7/5)

+ We won't be seeing any Scarlett Johansson pregnancy boobs [Just Jared]

+ Laetitia Casta is ready to pop [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Miranda Kerr Nude Photos [Egotastic!]
+ Jessica Stroup is rather attractive [Popoholic]
+ Gwyneth Paltrow is topless (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]

+ Vida Guerra is your afternoon pick-me-up [F-Listed]
+ Sienna Miller at her attractive best [Holy Taco]
+ Kim Kardashian's sisters want nothing to do with her [Bossip]
+ The Today Show killed Betty White [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]