Bradley Cooper at the premiere of Valentine's Day held at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood (2/8)

I don't want to reveal how I came about this information, but according to my exclusive inside source (the same source that tipped me off about Lindsay Lohan's lip injections), Bradley Cooper uses spray tan. Remember folks, you heard it on Celebslam.com first!

Jamie Lynn Spears dumps her baby daddy Casey Aldridge

Jamie Lynn Spears finally dumped the guy whose inability to pull out ruined her career, 21-year-old Casey Aldridge. But she's not single -- she's dating a real-life businessman! And he's got a secretary and everything! From E!:

Britney Spears' little sis isn't moping around postsplit. The same source confirms reports that the 18-year-old has moved on with 28-year-old Louisianan James Watson.

Watson reportedly owns a communications and television equipment company called Advanced Media Partners in Hammond, La. When contacted for a statement on his rumored romance with Spears, Watson's secretary told E! News he has "no comment."

As part of the split, Jamie Lynn and Casey have agreed to divide up the assets as follows: Jamie Lynn gets the stereo, the entertainment center built of 2x4s and cinder blocks, and the Beanie Baby collection Casey and her were "saving for retirement." Casey gets the chickens (and coop), all coonskin paraphernalia  -- including all caps, and the gator skins Jamie Lynn was tanning on the old fence out back. Those are gonna make some great wallets.

Dayana Mendoza

Former Miss Universe Dayana Mendoza at "The Princess Ball Mardi Gras Masquerade Gala" at Cipriani in New York (2/5)

Brooklyn Decker's Sports Illustrated cover

Andy Roddick's wife -- and Celebslam favorite -- Brooklyn Decker was revealed as the cover model for the 2010 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue last night on Letterman. *playfully paws at screen* - From People:

"I've never been on one! I'm kind of freaking out," she said before appearing on The Late Show with David Letterman Monday. "I've done news shows, but I've never done a big talk show."

So how did her family react when they saw the photos of her clad in a yellow Delfina bikini? "My mom cried," says Decker. "We're all on pins and needles before the issue comes out, because the cover is something all the girls want so badly. So it's nice for my family because they don't have to stress about it anymore."

It's cool that Brooklyn's mom cried when she saw her cover, though it probably wasn't for the same sexy reason I did (pride for your daughter vs. when I masturbate). I wonder if she lit candles and put on a Frank Sinatra CD too?

Because I love you, here's a gallery of Brooklyn's pics from this year's issue:

Charlie Sheen is in deep shit

The shit hit the fan for Charlie Sheen late yesterday. For that little Christmas Day incident where he threatened to kill his wife Brooke Mueller, he was charged with felony menacing, third-degree assault and criminal mischief. He faces up to three years in prison. From the Los Angeles Times:

Sheen faces up to three years imprisonment if convicted on the felony menacing charge. He is scheduled to return to court March 15. If a disposition isn't worked out, Cummins said, Sheen would enter a not guilty plea. Mueller was also looking for a peaceful resolution, her lawyer said.

"Her druthers would be for the charges to be dropped and to go away," Galanter said.

Sheen was arrested Dec. 25 in Aspen after Mueller called police, saying she feared for her life. Sheen and Mueller had been arguing early that morning when she said she wanted a divorce, according to an affidavit. Mueller, 32, told police that Sheen, 44, had pinned her to the bed, gripped her neck with one hand and held a knife to her throat as he straddled her.

Read that last sentence again. Pretty serious stuff. Which is going to make it all the more ridiculous when Charlie serves no time for this whatsoever. If I pulled this shit on my girlfriend, I'd serve so much time in prison that my asshole would look like a mason jar by the time I got out. Charlie might get a year's probation, but only if he calls the judge a "fucking cocksucker" in open court.

Don’t click the picture. Just trust me dude, don’t click the picture.

JWoww wants bigger tits 

Wow, I can't believe I'm writing a second story about this trollop in as many weeks. But where implant news goes, I follow. From the New York Post:

"Jersey Shore" is about to get bigger. Jenni "JWoww" Farley is planning another boob job to enhance her already enormous assets. She was spotted Friday visiting the Long Island offices of plastic surgeon Dr. Stephen Greenberg, a breast specialist who also has offices on Park Avenue. A source told us, "She wants to get it done as soon as possible to be ready for the new season."

Can you really blame JWoww for wanting to go bigger? She's just trying to improve the one asset she has that her career depends upon. Do we badmouth a grad student when he goes back to school to increase the size of his brain? No! So let's not be too quick to chastise JWoww for going bigger, let's encourage her -- so that hopefully her tits will become big enough to serve the purpose we all want: block out Snooki.

Reese Witherspoon out and about in Brentwood (2/3)

+ Former celebrity held at gunpoint in Ethiopia [PopEater]

+ Anna Torv (Fringe) couldn't picked a better topless pose [The Superficial]
+ Jennifer Aniston desperately trying to marry any wealthy businessman [IDLYITW]
+ Brooklyn Decker got the SI Swimsuit Edition cover [Just Jared]
+ Kirsten Stewart looks like death [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Rachel Bilson has some sexy little curves [Popoholic]
+ Gary Coleman is guilty [Wonderwall]
+ The Playboy mansion had a very slutty Super Bowl party [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Summer Altice is one sexy bitch [moejackson]

+ Boobies! (NSFW) [College Humor]
+ Michael Jackson's doctor charged with involuntary manslaughter [The Blemish]
+ Maybe my favorite Super Bowl picture ever [Dlisted]
+ Lindsay is clearly high if she's denying this [Cele|bitchy]

Clara Alonso

Argentine model Clara Alonso

Blake Lively bikini pics! (Miami - 2/7)

Obviously the big news in Miami yesterday was that Blake Lively and her fantastic implants were hanging out on a hotel balcony in a bikini. According to Flynet, Blake "affectionately sat on her boyfriend [Penn Badgley's] lap and appeared to be giving him lapdances in between showering him with kisses." I've never even met this Penn guy but I already hate him so much. He's the overconfident Vietnamese General to my Chuck Norris in an '80s movie about POWs.