Russell Simmons in Miami (2/5)

Russell Simmons is obvious . . . and I don't mean in the "he obviously looks like a god damn alien" kind of sense. I mean it's pretty obvious what he's trying to imply here. From the New York Post:

Russell Simmons certainly comes prepared. While leaving the Haven 360 Oscar-week party for "The Cove" the other night, the hip-hop impresario dropped a magnum-sized Trojan condom. "Russell reached into his pocket to get his valet ticket and something dropped on the floor," a witness told us. "He didn't notice and drove off. I rushed over to pick it up, and it was a black and gold packet containing a Trojan condom." Simmons was at the Andaz Hotel event with Hayden Panettiere and director Fisher Stevens to toast the pro-dolphin movie. Our source added, "This happened as he stood right next to a giant ad for his ex-wife Kimora Lee Simmons' new TV show."

Damn Russell's smooth. When most guys try to trick women into sleeping with them, they use the old standbys (e.g. lie about their job or write their phone number on the back of their rich friend's ATM receipt). The truth however is that Russell isn't the first person to try this move. Last week Lindsay did the same thing when she walked past Ellen DeGeneres and "accidentally" dropped a boxing glove.

Elle Macpherson leaving her children's school in London (3/5)

+ Rachel Bilson in her finest lesbian sweater [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Christina Ricci drunk off her midget ass [The Superficial]
+ Selita Ebanks drops some serious cleavage [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Elton John must die! [Wonderwall]
+ Jessica Biel kinds looks like she's blowing someone [IDLYITW]

+ Diane Kruger is just plain good looking [Popoholic]
+ Maggie Gyllenhaal's bob fell out [moejackson]
+ And the richest man in the world is . . . not an American [PopEater]
+ Fake boobies! (NSFW) [College Humor]
+ Darth Vader's winter vacation [EgoTV]

+ Aubrey O'Day wearing nothing but an apron [Dlisted]
+ Angelina Jolie's army of love children [CityRag]
+ A little something for the ladies [popbytes]
+ Billy Corgan slams John Mayer [Gabby Babble]

Hana Mayeda

American model Hana Mayeda

Paparazzi photos from Thursday, March 11

Kate Gosselin out and about in New York (pics start here)

Scott Disick at the pool at his hotel in Miami (pics start here)

Sarah Silverman leaving Joan's on Third restaurant in L.A. (pics start here)

Mena Suvari shopping on Robertson Boulevard in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Pauly D from Jersey Shore getting a lap dance at TAO in Las Vegas (pics start here)

Haylie Duff leaving a medical building in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Chris Pine leaving a pharmacy in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Pierce Brosnan and his wife Keely Shaye Smith in Malibu (pics start here)

Tyrese at a frozen yogurt shop in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Mike Tyson arriving at Heathrow airport in London (pics start here)

Charlize Theron going through security at LAX airport (pics start here)

Nicole Eggert arriving at the CNN studios in Hollywood (pics start here)

Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

*121 pics total in the gallery

Whitney Port in Miami (3/10)

+ Ashley Olsen looks like she's going bald [Just Jared]

+ Joe Montana's sons trying to get some ass [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Conan O'Brien is going on tour [PopEater]
+ Kristen Stewart wears a way-too-short skirt on Leno [Popoholic]
+ Girls Aloud Nicolas Roberts upskirt pic [TaxiDriverMovie]

+ Give this shit a rest already [Cele|bitchy]
+ Gabrielle Union needs more roles [Holy Taco]
+ His cause of death was drugs you idiot [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
+ What's the rudest thing that's happened to you? [So Rude]

LIST OF THE DAY: 5 male actors looked over by the Academy for too damn long

Jessica Simpson has cleavage

Jessica Simpson was leaving this Ritz Hotel in New York earlier today and she got all tangled up in her dog leash and then she bent over and you could kinda see her boobs. Tune in to Action News 9 tonight for the latest developments on this breaking story!

Justin Timberlake at TAO nightclub in Las Vegas (3/10)

Justin Timberlake was seen flirting with a few go-go dancers at TAO nightclub last night in Vegas. They even exchanged numbers and were later seen being personally escorted by Justin up to his suite. No harm, right? Um, except he's still dating Jessica Biel. They're even in counseling. But I can personally attest that hooking up with these skanks is not Justin's fault. He was sick and had to skip the counseling session about not sticking your penis into go-go dancers. If anyone's to blame here, it's Justin's assistant for not reminding him to get his flu shot. What a big jerk that guy is!

Christoph Waltz at the 82nd Annual Academy Awards in L.A. (3/7)

People often think that famous actors can't take one step without random hot chicks walking up to them and offering free blow jobs. People are right. From the New York Post:

Being Hollywood's favorite villain has its thrills -- one young beauty offered to give Best Supporing Actor Christoph Waltz, of "Inglourious nBasterds," a happy ending at Harvey Weinstein's pre-Oscar party. The mystery leggy blonde was overheard offering Waltz oral sex at the bash at LA's Soho House on Saturday night. Waltz "looked amused" but tactfully laughed it off, a spy reported. "Waltz was surrounded by women all night. Everybody wanted to congratulate him on his performance. But one woman went further and announced, 'I give great blow jobs.' "

Serious question here. What's the point of going to acting school, struggling through demeaning roles, clawing your way into a feature film, and then finally reaching the pinnacle of your profession by winning its top award if you're not going to accept blow jobs from random blondes? If Christoph's plan all along was to reject the advances of women, he might as well have become a monk . . . or Anderson Cooper.

Lady Gaga at Heathrow airport in London (3/6)

You know how if you're on a particularly long flight, you should get up every few hours and stretch your legs to avoid the dreaded -- and deadly -- deep vein thrombosis (DVT). Well that's especially true if you're dressed like an idiot. From The Sun:

[Lady Gaga] had to be undressed by cabin staff on a flight from London to America after her legs began to swell due to another odd outfit. Bonkers GaGa had boarded a long-haul flight at Heathrow wearing black and yellow TAPE and giant blue shoes designed by her pal, the late Alexander McQueen. The experienced flight crew told GaGa she'd best get it off quick or risk long-term damage.

An airline source said: "GaGa was a high-risk DVT case so she was advised to change out of her clothes. But the outfit was so cumbersome she needed help changing out of it. She was particularly miffed about ditching her heels. She was wearing them in memory of her friend Alexander."

Lady Gaga (1986-2010). Beloved friend, daughter, and musician. She died doing what she loved . . . acting like a complete and utter jackass.

Camila Alves

Camila Alves at Bravo's Upfront Party held at Skylight Studios in New York (3/10)