Audrina Patridge out and about in London (7/28)

We need to pass a law that Audrina Patridge can only wear tight tank tops. She looks incredibly hot -- 100 times better than that picture of her showing off her alien cleavage yesterday. Also, we need to pass a tougher anti-stalking law. Look, I don't care how many times you've been on the cover of Maxim or that you lack a gag reflex, no means no.

*33 pictures total in the gallery:

Irina Shayk wearing an impossibly short dress

Russian supermodel Irina Shayk was invited to last night's premiere of Twelve in New York. And she showed her appreciation to event organizers by wearing that. Wow. If that dress was any shorter, it would be a hat.

*15 photos total in the gallery:

Zac Efron arriving at LAX airport from New York (7/27)

Zac Efron has just about the cleanest reputation in all of Hollywood so it's a little surprising that the New York Post says he's making it rain at strip clubs like Lil Wayne.

Squeaky-clean heartthrob Zac Efron and two of his pals spent more than $2,000 on lap dancers and vodka at [Flashdancers Gentlemen's Club on Broadway].

A spy told us, "Zac came in Sunday night around midnight with Corbin and one other male friend, who paid for everything. They were seated in the VIP lounge behind the main stage. There was only a rail between them and the girls who were dancing.

"They ordered one bottle of Belvedere vodka and were enthralled with the dancers. They were interacting a lot with the girls and reaching out and showering money on them. There were three girls who Zac and his friends particularly liked and they asked to do personal dances at their table.

"The girls were all slim pretty brunettes, a bit like Zac's girlfriend, Vanessa Hudgens. They were two Americans, called Shannon and Brandi, and a gorgeous Brazilian called Raquel. Zac and the boys had a great time and left around 3 a.m. Monday morning."

That night, Efron walked the red carpet at the premiere of "Charlie St. Cloud." Hudgens was not at his side, although she attended the LA screening last week.

Vanessa needs to look on the bright side. At least Zac spent $2,000 at a strip club and not somewhere embarrassing like the Thunder from Down Under all male revue or even worse: Comic-Con. Nevertheless, if she needs an incredibly-toned, muscular shoulder to cry on, I'm here for her.

*17 photos total in the gallery:

Shauna Sand bikini pics! (Miami - 7/26)

Boy, Shauna is really pushing the limit of those implants -- they could explode at any second. And it wouldn't even really be the manufacturer's fault. How could they possibly design an implant that could withstand the force of someone like Shauna running down the beach? The only safety testing they did was with women on their back.

*15 photos total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Wednesday, July 28

Jennifer Love Hewitt leaving La Scala restaurant in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Mira Sorvino at the premiere of Get Low in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Maria Menounos leaving the Ritz Carlton in New York (pics start here)

Miss Teen USA 2010 Kamie Crawford making an appearance at Chez Josephine restaurant in New York (pics start here)

Katie Price launching her new novel Paradise in London (pics start here)

Justin Timberlake and Woody Harrelson filming a scene for Friends With Benefits in New York (pics start here)

Vanessa Hudgens leaving Starbucks in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Kate Gosselin and her 8 kids arriving at LAX airport (pics start here)

Singer Charlotte Church out and about in Wales, UK (pics start here)

Erin Andrews lobbying for stronger federal stalking laws at a press conference in Washington, D.C. (pics start here)

Lea Michele at Fox's "Glee Academy: An Evening of Music With the Cast of Glee" at Henry Fonda Theater in L.A. (pics start here)

Talk show host Laura Ingraham signing copies of her new book The Obama Diaries at Borders in Las Vegas (pics start here)

Michelle Rodriguez out and about in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

*109 photos total in the gallery:

Katy Perry's promo pics for Teenage Dreams

+ That one annoying chick is pregnant [PopEater]

+ I was his fiance was in her underwear instead [The Superficial]
+ These people need to get a fucking life [2Leep]
+ Did Adriana Lima's boobs get bigger? [IDLYITW]
+ Erin Wasson has nipples (NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]

+ In sexy jail bait news . . . [Egotastic!]
+ This is so fucked up [College Humor]
+ I can see Jessica Biel's undies [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Kelly Brook doing what she does best -- looking hot [moejackson]

+ Mad Mel outdoes himself [Dlisted]
+ It's Bieber fever! [The Blemish]
+ Who's been touching Angelina Jolie's boobs? [CityRag]
+ Hand bra [Double Viking]

*5 pictures total in the gallery:

Elvira Egmond

Dutch model Elvira Egmond

*14 photos total in the gallery:

Miranda Kerr is pregnant

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr surprised everyone with their short engagement and secret marriage. I mean, why would they get married so soon unless Miranda was pregnant or something? Oh hey, whadduya know, Us Weekly says:

"She's definitely pregnant... Miranda's thrilled," says a source close to the Australia native, who wed the actor, 33, at an undisclosed location -- reportedly in the Caribbean -- less than a month after revealing their engagement on June 21. "She's telling all her friends, mostly other models, about it."

While the pal says no official announcement will be made, the couple of three years' big news will be hard to keep hidden.

"She poses in lingerie," says the friend of Kerr, who has modeled for Victoria's Secret since 2007. "It will be obvious soon enough."

What the hell took Orlando so long? He's been dating this piece of ass for three years. If I were him, Miranda would have been pregnant within the first hour of meeting her. Hell, Miranda Kerr is so damn hot, I would have traveled back in time and impregnated her even before I met her.

NOTE: Can you be a MILF if your kid still has a tail?

*6 photos total in the gallery:

What actress does that butt belong to? Identity revealed on PAGE 2 (click the picture to jump) . . .

+ Tara Reid's ass is deflated [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Hilary Duff is looking busty [Popoholic]
+ A little something for the pre-teens [Just Jared]
+ Julianne Moore cameltoe [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Brittany Murphy was robbed after she died [PopEater]

+ The hottest picture ever taken of Penelope Cruz [2Leep]
+ Michelle Hunziker is in a bikini [moejackson]
+ Chris Tucker getting bent over by Uncle Sam [Cele|bitchy]
+ Nicole Kidman naked x20 [CityRag]

LIST OF THE DAY: 25 videos of people falling down stairs. Awesome.

*13 pictures total in the gallery:

Anna Kournikova and Enrique Iglesias on their boat in Biscayne Bay (7/27)

Here's some blurry bikini pics of Anna Kournikova in Miami yesterday. I know the pics suck but, hey, it's better than not having blurry bikini pics of Anna Kournikova. I use the same logic with hookers. Look, I know my penis can be pretty intimidating, but $50 in your pocket in an hour is better than not having $50 in your pocket in an hour.

*27 photos total in the gallery: